Training My Human

Sometimes, my human is good. She lies in bed for hours doing nothing, and I can cuddle up to her and get stroked in all the good places that make me purr.

But other times, my human is grievously naughty. She takes out the silver box of light and begins pressing the keys down in a random sequence. When I attempt to help her speed up the process, she takes me off her lap and calls me “bad cat,” which I consider naughty words.

Artemis on clipboard

Another sin in which my human regularly engages is the reading and marking up of papers, which she executes at the kitchen table. When I provide a living barrier between my human and the torturous, meaningless toil of the papers and the pen, she takes me off the table and tries to distract me with a toy or some food. But I don’t want play or sustenance as much as I want my poor companion to recover from her sinful, self-harming ways.

Artemis sitting on clipboard

Any reader advice on training humans would be highly appreciated!

Artemis sitting on Finding Paradise draft


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