On his eighteenth birthday, Prince Egbert encountered an evil witch who maliciously transformed him into a frog. As a warty green amphibian, the prince discovered the happiness for which he had searched in vain most of his human life.
He was allowed to burp and belch as much as he wanted among the other frogs in the royal swamp; in fact, this behavior was encouraged and rewarded with belches of approval. And any time Egbert wanted solitude, he could dive beneath the surface of the pond and look up at the surreal canopy of lily pads. Meanwhile, there was a lovely young frog named Slimella, verdant and sporting warts in all the right places, who liked to spend time croaking popular tunes with Egbert and catching flies together in their favorite hunting spot. Egbert thought about asking her to marry him – did frogs practice monogamy?
One day, a tall and slender shadow loomed over the swamp. Most of the frogs hopped underwater or hid in the cattails, but Egbert, unused to the locomotion of his new legs, was too slow. The fatally feminine face of Princess Priscilla hovered over Egbert, drawing ever closer. Egbert sat, paralyzed with fear, and wondered dully why the princess was pooching her lips forward like a giraffe and squeezing her eyes closed. He remembered some fairytale he’d been read as a child… something about a princess kissing a frog…
Just before the rose-colored lips could penetrate Egbert’s perfect existence as a frog, he thought to hop into the water. He doubted the princess would follow him in all her expensive attire.
Priscilla uttered some very unladylike words and stormed off, vowing never to trouble herself to try to save a frog from his repulsive destiny ever again. Slimella licked Egbert’s cheek in celebration. The prince had never been so happy.
Image credit: “Frog on bough”. Licensed under GPL via Wikimedia Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Frog_on_bough.jpg#/media/File:Frog_on_bough.jpg