sorry dreams


Pine (2) – Verb.

  1. To lose vigor, health or flesh (as through grief) : languish
  2. To yearn intensely and persistently especially for something unattainable

It always goes like this:

A forest thick as vaginal hair, unkempt: I say that because I mean it, it was before I was born when they started to diminuate the trees with shears every month. Everything was wild, black-jade branches straining toward the white sky. This is where I used to spin in circles and fall into the snow and breathe in the unsweetened sharpness of it, before I was born.

If you spin between the trees long enough they melt into your ancestors; grandmas and dark strangers and mothers cloaked in a carpet of soft green needles flowing to the floor. You’ve known it forever, yet when the bird cuts over the treetops he scrawls an inky line across your blue field of vision; your heart can’t help but tremble. You’ve known it before, this faraway feathered arrow shimmering above past the length of your outstretched arm, much past it, a distance longer than the sum of all your ever screams and whispers bundled together could carry.

You are on the ground; he is on the wing. His mate rests in a wooded cranny nearby, nestled in her own softness, onyx-jetted just like him. They are too beautiful to cry. The cold slush scalds your cheek.

You watch as your whisper curls up like lazy chimney smoke, flees the clouds, slips thinly into nothing: I love you.


Image credits in order of appearance:

By Public Domain Images (Public domain images website Pine trees under snow) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

By Amedeo – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0,

Note: The above dictionary definition, and much of the inspiration to voice this thought in this way, comes from Merriam-Webster’s online definition of pine. An excellent online dictionary with interesting articles for language buffs.


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