I used to glitter in the lights
love would brim over as it trailed in dizzy goblets across my footsteps, used to follow through the bobbing crowd
until all the basketball craniums barraged me and smothered my black eyes’ view of my dream as it shimmered away
on a high perfect fifth on a butterfly rainbow, leaving my heart
crawling with termite mandibles, detached and searching for prey in the dim shallow blood.
I used to welcome the pink rhinestone cake in the air that I breathed when I woke to realize I was in love;
Now I defenestrate the sweet faster than I would a termite who tried to decipher my underclothes.
I used to look for lost aglets from the Nikes of love
in the marigold traces of a picnic feast left to tumbleweed in the lilac-strewn goldness of dawn
I used to taste around for some dewdrop cried
by a cloud that was breathed
of the words of a cotton-blank
lover who would, in some semblance of next year, find me
attractive enough to date once or twice.
You and time and the slippery sidewalks of cities of high-heeled waifs have taught me different.
Now I stray never far from the strait-velvet office where parties are foreign as blush roses on a skeleton’s cheekbones
where I throw the next 6 hours’ toil in the microwave, zap its tundra to death with hot chemicals, shove it down towards the out of me
hoping it will disappear into the sulfur toilet or into a bowl of oatmeal the next morning or even onto the stage just as Conrad is kissing Kim I don’t really care how it goes so long as it goes
away from me. Love,
I used to crave you, wave to you from afar and look down at my frostbit feet when you wouldn’t wave back.
Now I despise you, set charms on my doorstep and locks on my heart so you couldn’t stop by and say hi if you wanted to
And still – the worst part of it is – I look down
at my puddle of tears, and have no one to swim with:
my efforts have come to fruit.
Image credits in order of appearance:
By Food and Drug Administration – http://www.fda.gov/cber/summaries/cent092302pp.htm, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=3227578
By James McCauley from Enon, OH, United States of America – Flickr, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1136268