20 Sounds I Most Detest

  1. Football fanatics in the next room whenever something good or bad happens.
  2. The vault-like door to the laundry room that retorts shut in a sudden, fiery crack, like a bb-gun dropped on the eardrum.
  3. Mothers in restaurants or aquariums or anywhere hurried, scarfing their children’s wide eyes shut with time-related interjections, hovering.
  4. A classical instrument lifted too quickly which bangs and sings against an industrial chair’s bony frame.
  5. My shoe crashing through a snail’s shell and into the soft interior – it makes a din like a bomb decimating a tiny metropolis of fleshy hearts.
  6. The bouncing of a basketball intensifying in amplitude and quickening in period.
  7. Thunder on school nights.
  8. Yellow and shadow silhouettes in the hallways, snorkeling pig-whistles: each squeal could be a sob or a fit of jubilance, as they scream and throw their bull-breasted bodies onto the boy-shadows that make them laugh or cry, filtrating under the yellow door-crack in a lower register.
  9. The fire alarms shrieking – as if a thing inanimate could strangle on mortal terror, could scrape it into our tender nights as genital mutilation in the middle of a baby’s dream.
  10. The fire lady saying we all did a good job, her blare roughened by years of wind, now razing our soft grass afternoon before the red screech has yet faded.
  11. A small child inhaling as a prelude to a wail, particularly when said child has recently and rapidly transitioned from an upright position to a vaguely horizontal one along a sidewalk.
  12. Expo markers poisoning the whiteboard with numbers.
  13. Doors slamming – possessed not of their own heavy will but shoved by a woman with red netting holding in her eyeballs; the transfer of energy echoes inward.
  14. Anyone having audible fun past 9 pm.
  15. Silence when I am trying to fall asleep.
  16. Music that is too delicious not to whimper down my throat and juice the colors out of my veins, to flee into the doctor’s urine cup to make sure my vital isolation is still at the proper level.
  17. Pretty languages tossed between blondes in a cold wind.
  18. A cat with its tail caught anywhere, scouring in a deathly need for release, the spine pressed and folded as a broken book, as a result of hasty door-slamming.
  19. Artificially inseminated earthquakes (commonly encountered in apartment buildings and college dormitories.)
  20. A mouth shaping words at me: Transfixed, my kaleidoscope ears cut purple bruises to amethyst flattery while they smash violet blessings into sanguine ink drying in a parched kitchen sink. Everything is still purple, therefore it must be right. No one will speak, or else my ears won’t listen, and the door itches its paint-chip scars in its frame, no longer even afraid, as such feelings depart when we are slammed enough times we cannot but expect the numbing sound.
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