I think I will marry a kraken.
Yes, I think I will. There is something about the kraken that flips a switch in my heart, and makes my chin rise to kiss the sun every time I see a picture, hear a song or just the mythical name mentioned in passing. Tennyson said the kraken is sleeping at the bottom of the ocean, somnambulantly slapping sea worms with his tail, and he won’t rise to the surface where mankind can catch a glimpse of him until the moment of the apocalypse when he shall perish along with the earth, becoming part of an immeasurable sleep. And that is fine by me. Husbands are supposed to spend 12 hours per day sleeping – aren’t they?
There is just something about the kraken, in paint or in pixel, strong tentacles shooting through the glass ceiling of the water to shatter giant waves upon the sea. Ships slide down these waves like bubbles in cake batter off the spatula. There is just something about his eyes, each alien to the other on two sides of the rubbery forehead, yet connected by the electric spiral of a brain, a technological relic fizzling white-blue lightning. There is really something about the way the kraken hides himself behind the midnight cape that is the deep – and this makes me want to chase after, to discover what is beneath the surface.
No, I don’t think I will marry the kraken. It would be rather odd for his public image, to be a terrifying monster with a girl at his side. Besides, I wouldn’t want either of us to overshadow the other. And imagine if he sneezed inside the house! Besides, my parents would never approve the wedding.
Well, for once, they might be right. I will keep my distance from all manner of sea monsters, especially the kraken. Sexy as he may be. Rather than offering him roses, I think I will snip and study skin samples, implant cameras and monitor migration patterns, and I will learn every last slimy gutsy gory secret hiding between the walls of his cells and their organelles. I will expose every strangeness that reeks and trembles in his gelatinous tar-wrinkled body, will bind it into books and send them to all the nations overseas by boat. And I myself, the researcher and author, will come along to make sure the books get safely to their destination with no disturbances…
Image credits in order of appearance:
“Perseus, riding on Pegasus, kills the dragon to rescue Andromeda.” By Anonymous – http://www.pizan.lib.ed.ac.uk/otea.html, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=21398026
By Pierre Denys de Montfort († 1820) – from en:Image:Colossal octopus by Pierre Denys de Montfort.jpg where it was uploaded by en:user:Salleman., Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=977733
“Münster’s sights and views– some examples from different editions (many with modern hand-coloring).” By Sebastian Münster – http://www.columbia.edu/itc/mealac/pritchett/00generallinks/munster/views/aa_views.html, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=57296897